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BUT NO ONE'S LISTENING
A Review of Saturday's Protest in Portland
Posted - 3/21/03 08:00 PM PST
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Somewhere between 15,000 and 45,000 Oregonians gathered at Waterfront Park last Saturday. No one can agree on a number. Local news affiliates low-ball the figure while activists claim that the crowd couldn?t have fit in a Midwest football stadium.
Regardless, a crowd of this size typically shows up only when beer tents or carnival rides are involved. Unfortunately, not so much as a single keg was on hand for Saturday?s performance (plenty of French wine though). Much like this company?s pervious march in January, only irritated motorists and local news affiliates took notice.
This production proved to be louder, larger and younger than the other protests that have clogged downtown streets in recent months. While many cast members were well into their forties and beyond, the median age of the crowd seemed to be 20. Jackets covered in Misfits patches replaced the parkas of earlier protests. More wine was chugged than Seattle?s Best Coffee. The cast seemed eager to make up for their epic-scale but lackluster performance back in January. The wine helped but there wasn't enough to go around.
A stage greeted cast members as the 2 PM start time approached. Musicians entertained the crowd until a keynote address by congressman and former civil rights leader John Lewis kicked off the performance. "By marching with your feet, you are sending a strong message that will be heard in Washington and around the world, despite what people are saying," he said. After a quick overture by a Tibetan drum group, the curtain was raised and the march began.
As the bottle-necked crowd eased onto Nato Parkway, the Morrison Bridge was closed due to safety concerns. Several hundred people lingering on the bridge, who were blocking traffic, quickly drew the ire of the Portland Police Department. A line of officers pushed them towards a nearby on-ramp. Each was covered in gear that would make Robocop file paperwork for an upgrade. Yet one undaunted cast member, clad in a black gas mask, stood defiant. Waiving his arms widely, he spewed such memorable lines as, "This is what a police state looks like" to the crowd below. Despite the mask, his voice was audible for blocks. His performance was easily the highlight of the entire production.
A protestor in a gas mask taunts police, earns himself accolades
The cast below cheered and, despite his taunts, the officers were reluctant to break out their nightsticks. What should have been a minor spectacle sputtered into a peaceful stand-off. Eventually, the protestor balked and joined his corralled colleagues.
Around 200 protestors loitered on the on-ramp for an hour or more. A line of riot cops kept them at bay while their coworkers idly ate lunch on the bridge above. BOR-ING! If this were San Francisco, the audience would have been treated to melee of broken bones and flying handcuffs. Chicago officers wouldn?t stand for this. NYPD would break out a firing squad. The Morrison was closed down until the protestors lost interest and joined the march below.
Protestors on the Morrison Bridge onramp
One significant change from January?s performance was Parisian paraphernalia. One out of every ten protestors seemed to be carrying a French flag . Several signs offered variations on "Viva la France." As mentioned earlier, several protested tossed back French wine. As one protestor explained, "Once I?m finished, I?ve got a handy bottle to throw at those helmets."
Despite constant heckling, the police presence on hand remained obligatory. Throughout the day only one cast member was arrested. After the Morrison Bridge confrontation, the rest of the march proceeded without incident.
What the performance lacked in violent clashes with PPD, it made up for in signs and costumes. Both were much improved from January's production. A half dozen performers dressed as bobble-head skeletons. The Grim Reaper made an appearance on a red bicycle. Best of all the undead protestors was a woman in a skin-tight body suit covered in bones. She carried a sign proclaiming, "I'm Bush's bitch." Several other protestors settled for military garb.
Death makes a cameo appearance, plays air guitar
Sign highlights:
- Go duct yourself, Bush.
- Jobs are smarter than smart bombs.
- Drop Bush, not bombs.
- Yuppies against war.
- Kick their ass, take their gas.
- Draft the rich and we won?t bitch.
- Eat French fries.
- Pardon my French, fuck Bush.
- Dick Bush before Bush dicks you.
- Various signs on protesting pets: Wag the dog, puppies for peace, another dog for peace, war kills puppies.
- Best of the day: Bush: Pull out like your father should have.
While the Morrison standoff and improved signs made this production more entertaining than the last, it was still blander than bland. Police confrontations and civil disobedience make or break a good protest. Tens of thousands of people marching for peace and behaving themselves? YAWN! While the direction kept the show orderly and smooth, it didn?t change the fact that this production was listless and overtly family friendly. It received only a paltry line or two in most national news stories the following day. If Portland?s company wants to compete with those in larger cities, it needs to go that extra distance. Here's hoping they can do better next time.
Grade B-
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