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- 0 1 0 1 0 - Welcome to Commie Town Posted 1/5/05 - 11:30 PM - 0 1 0 1 0 - Over Thanksgiving weekend 2004, I made a pit stop in Seattle's trendy Freemont neighborhood. With its bookstores, cafes and coffee shops, it's a lot like Portland's Hawthorne district. The key difference between the two? Hawthorne isn't littered with communist artifacts or two-story tall trolls. Amidst all the quaintness and couples sipping lattés, Freemont contains more than its fair share of Cold War relics. The first one I spotted was this lovable, huggable Vladimir Lenin statue. Vladmir's eyes may have fallen on many a Soviet battalion. Now they sternly look off towards a Taco Del Mar sign. There's clearly no love lost between area pigeons and the Soviet icon's legacy. The statue's shoulders were covered in pigeon poop. A concert-poster, partially torn off, was hanging on his chest like Superman's S. According to rumor, at 7 tons and 18 feet tall, it's the largest Lenin statue left in the world. At the revolutionary's feet are what appear to be rockets and flames. In 1989, Lewis Carpenter, an American working in Slovakia, found the statue lying face down as the nation's communist-era drew to a close. He mortgaged his home and paid for shipping back to Washington state. He had hoped to sell the statue but couldn't find any buyers. Lenin is still up for grabs for the low, low price of $150,000. Maybe Lenin has a thing for the free market after all. This picture could probably use a "Mmmmm...capitalist tacos" thought bubble. Near the left bank of Lake Washington there's a light rail stop where these clay commuters are waiting for a ride that never comes. Sculptor Richard Beyer created these pieces of interactive artwork in 1979. Over the years, the Interurban Sculpture(s) have helped celebrate local weddings, bon voyages, popular causes, the Huskies, demonstrations, etc. When I was there they were drawing attention to pitfalls of electronic voting. A few months ago, the statues were draped in Abu Ghraib-style hoods. Beside one statute is a dog with a human face. Somehow, I didn't notice and failed to get a picture. For a look, click here. According to Seattle lore, Beyer became upset after reading the fine print in his contract and learning he would have to pay extra for eco-friendly materials. The man responsible, Arman Napoleon Stepanian, the unofficial mayor of the Fremont neighborhood at the time, was a big proponent of recycling. Out for revenge, Beyer stuck his face on the pooch. So what does all of this have to do with communism, besides the fact the sculpture resides a few blocks from Lenin? Activist statues? Liberal politics? Interactive art displays? Recycling?! Questioning the Bush administration?!!!! Well, that's about as red as red gets. If you have to ask, go back to China. Sheesh! "'Leninade is a soda pop that truly captures the spirit of the Russian Revolution! It's Red, it's Bubbly, and it goes well with Vodka!' - Former Communist Party Official; now a used car salesman in Tampa." More: "It's a taste worth standing in line for!" This advertisement was attached to a bulletin board outside of a coffee shop. I went inside to buy a bottle but they didn't have any. Frustrated and thirsty, I headed down the street to the Red Apple Market. Not a single bottle of Leninade was sitting on its shelves. "Weird," I thought to myself. "What kinda commie-lovin' arts district is this?" I looked around various businesses but eventually wound up Leninade-less. Then it hit me. This is a socialist soda. Having this product available and meeting my consumer demand would be downright capitalistic, right? While struggling to remember what I'd forgotten during high school economics class, I headed up the street and found this. BEHOLD! The Fremont Rocket. In 1991, the Fremont Business Association decided the neighborhood needed another iconic landmark to add to its growing collection. One morning, a local news cast reported that a Cold War-era rocket, used to decorate a surplus store in Bell Town was about to be dismantled. The FBA swept in and saved it from the scrap heap. A few years and several thousand "can't get it up" jokes passed before the organizers found a way to erect the rocket. In the spring of 1994, specialists were called in to rebuild the cone and add florescent lights and a smoke machine to the thrusters. After a crest was added with the neighborhood's credo, "De Libertas Quirkas," it finally found a home on the side of a local business. There are plans to turn the 53' high monument into an FM radio transmitter. If this ever happens, the locals will no doubt use it to fill Seattle's airwaves with all sorts of communist propaganda. After taking these pictures, I wandered into a magazine shop and asked the clerk if there was anything else Marxist that I had missed. Her response? "Ummm, I'm not big into communism." Unable to offer information on anything else in the neighborhood with Soviet ties, she gave me directions to the Freemont Troll, the most popular attraction in the neighborhood. The troll, who most likely lacks a political ideology, is an 18-foot tall sculpture that resides underneath the north end of the Aurora Avenue Bridge. His right eye, made out of a hubcap, warily watches visitors. In his left hand, he holds an old Volkswagen, evidently snatched from the bridge above. The trunk originally contained a time capsule filled with Elvis memorabilia but it was removed after vandals made off with one of the car's license plates. Interaction with the troll is encouraged. As I fiddled with the settings on my digital camera, others ascended his head and pretended to pick his nose while having their pictures taken. Over the years, he's been tagged by graffiti artists but, as of yet, no one has managed to poke out his one good eye. Trolls with a taste for German automobiles, two-story Lenin statutes and dogs with human heads. If Freemont's various icons ever come to life ala the "eye sores" in that old Simpsons episode, Seattle will quickly be brought to its knees. FUN BONUS PHOTOS... ...OK, AFTER FURTHER INSPECTION, IT HAS BEEN DETERMINED THAT THESE BONUS PHOTOS ARE ONLY SLIGHTLY FUN Previous -->