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Behold the Wonders of West Portland:
87 photographs of a strange and exotic land
Posted 10/5/04 - 7:57 PM
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In late July I took a walk from the smallest park in the world to a Greek deli on NW 23rd. Along the way, I passed florescent porn shops, bored police horses, a river filled with sewage and through an opulent neighborhood carved out of ramshackle warehouses.
Downtown, Waterfront Park, Chinatown, the Pearl District, Nob Hill- this is what they all looked like in July of 2004 but this little photo tour is hardly comprehensive. Here you won't find images of Saturday Market or the Classical Chinese Gardens. I also neglected to get shots of area highlights like the dragons that watch over the entrance to Chinatown and the clubs that now fill a stretch of 1st Avenue. Instead, mixed among the likes of Powell's Technical Bookstore and Hung Far Low, you'll find soiled mattresses, haunted pizzerias and abandoned cars filled with trash bags.
OK, let's get going. There's a lot of ground to cover.
Our tour begins at Mill's End Park, allegedly the world's smallest according to the Guinness Book of World Records. It sits on a tiny median on Front Avenue and, despite being born and raised in the city, I didn't track it down until the time this photo was taken. As you can tell, it's easy to overlook. A miniature cypress tree sits in the middle of a concrete circle, surrounded by a rotating selection of seasonal flowers. The park was dedicated on St. Patrick's Day in 1948, is subject of a local leprechaun legend and also serves as a host for an annual snail race.
Tom McCall Waterfront Park was once Harbor Drive before it was jack-hammered to make way for 22 square blocks of greenspace. The park hosts numerous festivals during the summer months, turning its lawn into a near dustbowl until the fall rains arrive. The mast in the background belongs to the Battleship Oregon Memorial, built in 1956 to honor an 1893 ship. Buried in the base is a time capsule. It's set to be cracked opened on July 5th, 2076.
While I was taking this picture, a city employee was fiddling with a laptop that apparently controlled these sprinklers. Another, leaning against a railing, tried to convince him to push a button and soak a passing bicyclist. His suggestions went unnoticed as he focusing intently on properly aligning the streams. I know, what a wuss.
In the background, the Hawthorne Bridge. In the foreground, a seawall that protects the park from all the nasty, poo-filled water below.
Near the Burnside Bridge there's this public art display, a ten-foot tall wall lined with carved cracks. On Saturdays, the steps leading up to it serve as a hang-out for the Hawthorne crowd and punks on tiny, tiny bicycles. Apparently, the author of "sik fux" doesn't approve of the weekenders it draws.
Work on the West Side Big Pipe began in 2003 and is slated to cost a whopping $260 million. The goal of this, the largest construction project in city history, is to prevent the aforementioned poo from flowing into the Willamette River. Portland's outdated sewer system consist of a series of troughs that flow from residential districts. One handles human waste and leads to a treatment plant, the other carries rain water to the river. During heavy rainstorms, the two mix, creating a frothy mess that has turned Portland's centerpiece into a sludge flow. Despite this, you can find water-skiers lingering in the Willamette hot days and the occasional swimmer.
The Steel Bridge. One evening, a very long time ago, I drove across it backwards. Strangely enough, I did this while sober. I guess this makes me an idiot.
Every night at 12:02 AM, a small army of police robots enters the park to chase out stragglers. They look like R2D2... but with cattle prods attached to their heads.
OK, not really.
Actually, they swing batons.
These hitches are used once a year when Naval battleships roll into town for the Rose Festival. If the graffiti is to be believed, this one is the most popular of them all. It's no doubt currently mulling movie offers and dating Jennifer Garner.
On the other side of this sign, 30-feet away....
Hmmmm...what could it be? A pinball machine? A werewolf? Onward to page 2!
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